Imagine you wake up one morning with a slight toothacheInitially, the pain is bearable, so you ignore it and continue with your lifeA few days pass by....Now, it starts paining moreYou find it difficult to eat or talk, but you still do not do anything about itA few more days pass by....Now, the pain becomes unbearableAnd you finally visit a dentist, after suffering for several daysThe dentist advises a costly procedure and lots of medicineYou have no choice but to undergo the procedureEventually, the pain subsides after a few daysYou see what happened ?You only took action when the pain became unbearable and you ended up paying a huge costThis is known as the COST OF INACTION (COI)Imagine if you had NOT ignored the pain and taken care of it earlierMaybe visited the dentist before ?Maybe the procedure was not necessary at all ?In this case, the cost of inaction was both financial and non-financialThe financial cost was obviously the medical billsBut because you were not able to talk properly for few days, you missed some important client meetingsSo there was potential lost business opportunity as wellAnd then, there was the non-tangible component of COIYou were in pain, you were sufferingYou could not have your meals properly or sleep properlyYou were simply miserable for those days !In my experience, this concept of COI is not well understood by manyWhether you are business leader, entrepreneur or a working professional – it does not really matterWhen you do not change....
I was having a coaching call with a client recentlyShe is a senior leader within the tech industry and was being lined up for a promotion to a global role“I am very excited” she said “It is like a dream come true!”And then she paused....“But I am scared” she said hesitantly “It is a huge responsibility.
It is a big role”She continued, “What happens if I do not succeed?”The incumbent leader, whose position she was taking, had done an excellent jobAnd now, she was afraid whether she will be able to fill in those shoes or notShe was scared to step into her new power“If I am not able to do justice to this new role, it will impact my credibility, my reputation and all the hard work I have put in over past so many years” she saidYou see….When we see successful leaders, we only see the success, the aura, the fameBut the truth is..Success can sometimes be intimidatingSuccess can create all forms of fear and doubts..Fear of failure..Fear of what is on the other side, if you become successful..Fear of not meeting the expectations of people around youIt can sometimes cause you to question your own self worth “Do I even deserve this?”Success creates so many new challenges for youAnd the more successful you are as a leader, the bigger challenges lie ahead of youWe are always talking about fear of failureBut we NEVER talk about fear of successAnd these fears, these self-doubts can stop you from showing up powerfully as a leaderThey can stop you from taking bold action and playing full outLook....Fear of success can be a good sign - it means that you are thinking BIGBut allowing that fear to move you into a state of inaction and indecisiveness is not healthyAnd just a word of caution....Fear of success and fear of failure can seem to similar in natureBut they are NOTBoth come from different placesFear of failure assumes that you will fail in your endeavorsFear of success, on the other hand, assumes that you will succeed, but you are afraid of what will happen after that ?
And interestingly, both can prevent you from taking actionSo instead of fear of failure, I want you to go back and reflect :Are you actually afraid of success ?The answer may not be intuitive to you - you need to really think this throughThink about the biggest aspiration you have ahead of you - something big and boldThen, reflect on what might happen if you are able to achieve itYou can complete these sentencesMy biggest aspiration is___________________It scares me because_____________________I would be interested to know what came up for you as you read and reflected on this emailDo share your thoughts and feedback
However, what I have discovered is that art can help you find the problem in the first place before you go on the solution finding mission.
Sometimes, I stare at a painting from different distances and angles for prolonged periods, which gives a different perspective every time and can help find the missing dimension.
First try to under the problem better using different perspectives, before attempting to solve itIt’s OK to make mistakes - Every stroke of the brush creates a new effect.
However, as I see today, it’s perfectly fine for some color to splash out, it’s OK not to adhere to strict forms or shapes and it’s OK to have random brush strokes.
That’s why in recent times, I have ventured into the world of abstract art.Lesson - It’s OK to make mistakes.
Every so-called mistake also adds to your experience and life skills, so don’t be afraid to do something beyond the conventionsBalance and subtlety - While I did not study the color wheel so much when I began painting, over time, I did realize that there needs to be a balance in art – a balance of colors, tone, and texture.
I was having a coaching call with a client recentlyShe is a senior leader within the tech industry and was being lined up for a promotion to a global role“I am very excited” she said “It is like a dream come true!”And then she paused....“But I am scared” she said hesitantly “It is a huge responsibility.
It is a big role”She continued, “What happens if I do not succeed?”The incumbent leader, whose position she was taking, had done an excellent jobAnd now, she was afraid whether she will be able to fill in those shoes or notShe was scared to step into her new power“If I am not able to do justice to this new role, it will impact my credibility, my reputation and all the hard work I have put in over past so many years” she saidYou see….When we see successful leaders, we only see the success, the aura, the fameBut the truth is..Success can sometimes be intimidatingSuccess can create all forms of fear and doubts..Fear of failure..Fear of what is on the other side, if you become successful..Fear of not meeting the expectations of people around youIt can sometimes cause you to question your own self worth “Do I even deserve this?”Success creates so many new challenges for youAnd the more successful you are as a leader, the bigger challenges lie ahead of youWe are always talking about fear of failureBut we NEVER talk about fear of successAnd these fears, these self-doubts can stop you from showing up powerfully as a leaderThey can stop you from taking bold action and playing full outLook....Fear of success can be a good sign - it means that you are thinking BIGBut allowing that fear to move you into a state of inaction and indecisiveness is not healthyAnd just a word of caution....Fear of success and fear of failure can seem to similar in natureBut they are NOTBoth come from different placesFear of failure assumes that you will fail in your endeavorsFear of success, on the other hand, assumes that you will succeed, but you are afraid of what will happen after that ?
And interestingly, both can prevent you from taking actionSo instead of fear of failure, I want you to go back and reflect :Are you actually afraid of success ?The answer may not be intuitive to you - you need to really think this throughThink about the biggest aspiration you have ahead of you - something big and boldThen, reflect on what might happen if you are able to achieve itYou can complete these sentencesMy biggest aspiration is___________________It scares me because_____________________I would be interested to know what came up for you as you read and reflected on this emailDo share your thoughts and feedback
Imagine that you are traveling for your dream vacationYou have been planning and saving for this vacation for sometime nowYou reach the airport very excited and go straight to the check-in counterThe airline staff tells you that you have excess baggage and you need to pay excess baggage chargesYou ask "How much ?
"The staff calculates and shows you a number.
A really high numberYou are shocked !
!You obviously have no intention to pay those charges and you start arguing with the staffThe issue escalates and the airline supervisor manager is calledYou are categorically told “Either you pay the charges or you leave some luggage behind”Now....If you pay the excess baggage charges, it will eat into your vacation budgetIf you do not want to pay the charges, then you have to ditch your excess baggageWhat will you do ?If carrying that baggage is important and serving a purpose, you will pay the charges, else you will ditch the excess weight, right ?This is what happens in life as well – personal as well as professionalWhether you are a successful business leader, a working professional or an entrepreneur – it does not really matterSometimes, we hold onto things way too longWe hold onto......People..Past experiences..Environments..Beliefs..Old habits..Ways of thinking..MindsetWe do not want to let go of themAnd in the bargain, we end up paying a huge pricePrice in terms of lost opportunities for personal and professional growthAnd it is not just you - people around you also pay the price, directly and indirectly
Last week, I delivered a program on Delivering Effective Feedback for the leadership team of one of my clientsNow this is usually the time of annual performance appraisals in most organizations and as such, these programs are in demandHowever, what I do differently in these training sessions is that I actually start with a session on How to receive feedbackI feel that this is very important, as if you do not know how to receive feedback, you will not know how people feel and react, when you deliver feedback to your team membersSo today, I want to talk about how you can get better in receiving feedback 1.
Whenever you are receiving feedback, make sure to listen with the true intent of listening and not with the intent to respond or react Remember that giving feedback to you is one of the core responsibilities of your manager.
Many a times, team members tend to bring in other variables during a feedback discussionThey start pointing fingers on how others are behaving and what others are doing/not doingIf you do so, then you lose focus from the discussion at hand 4.
When you receive feedback, you have three choices :I call it the ARC Choice Frameworka) Accept itb) Reject itc) Contest itLets talk about acceptance firstYou can accept feedback on face value.
This is what most people do not understandYour stakeholders and people around you will continue to perceive you the same way, unless you do something aboutThird choice - ContestYou can contest feedback, but make sure you have very specific examples or evidence to back youRemember, if you contest feedback, it may not necessarily change the feedback, but it allows you a space to state your caseIn some cases, it is possible that the manager might change the opinion, but if it is officially documented, by and large, feedback will remain the sameBut don not contest for the sake of arguments.
It becomes a lost causeSo once you receive feedback, go back and reflect.
However, what I have discovered is that art can help you find the problem in the first place before you go on the solution finding mission.
Sometimes, I stare at a painting from different distances and angles for prolonged periods, which gives a different perspective every time and can help find the missing dimension.
First try to under the problem better using different perspectives, before attempting to solve itIt’s OK to make mistakes - Every stroke of the brush creates a new effect.
However, as I see today, it’s perfectly fine for some color to splash out, it’s OK not to adhere to strict forms or shapes and it’s OK to have random brush strokes.
That’s why in recent times, I have ventured into the world of abstract art.Lesson - It’s OK to make mistakes.
Every so-called mistake also adds to your experience and life skills, so don’t be afraid to do something beyond the conventionsBalance and subtlety - While I did not study the color wheel so much when I began painting, over time, I did realize that there needs to be a balance in art – a balance of colors, tone, and texture.
Imagine you wake up one morning with a slight toothacheInitially, the pain is bearable, so you ignore it and continue with your lifeA few days pass by....Now, it starts paining moreYou find it difficult to eat or talk, but you still do not do anything about itA few more days pass by....Now, the pain becomes unbearableAnd you finally visit a dentist, after suffering for several daysThe dentist advises a costly procedure and lots of medicineYou have no choice but to undergo the procedureEventually, the pain subsides after a few daysYou see what happened ?You only took action when the pain became unbearable and you ended up paying a huge costThis is known as the COST OF INACTION (COI)Imagine if you had NOT ignored the pain and taken care of it earlierMaybe visited the dentist before ?Maybe the procedure was not necessary at all ?In this case, the cost of inaction was both financial and non-financialThe financial cost was obviously the medical billsBut because you were not able to talk properly for few days, you missed some important client meetingsSo there was potential lost business opportunity as wellAnd then, there was the non-tangible component of COIYou were in pain, you were sufferingYou could not have your meals properly or sleep properlyYou were simply miserable for those days !In my experience, this concept of COI is not well understood by manyWhether you are business leader, entrepreneur or a working professional – it does not really matterWhen you do not change....
I was having a coaching call with a client recentlyShe is a senior leader within the tech industry and was being lined up for a promotion to a global role“I am very excited” she said “It is like a dream come true!”And then she paused....“But I am scared” she said hesitantly “It is a huge responsibility.
It is a big role”She continued, “What happens if I do not succeed?”The incumbent leader, whose position she was taking, had done an excellent jobAnd now, she was afraid whether she will be able to fill in those shoes or notShe was scared to step into her new power“If I am not able to do justice to this new role, it will impact my credibility, my reputation and all the hard work I have put in over past so many years” she saidYou see….When we see successful leaders, we only see the success, the aura, the fameBut the truth is..Success can sometimes be intimidatingSuccess can create all forms of fear and doubts..Fear of failure..Fear of what is on the other side, if you become successful..Fear of not meeting the expectations of people around youIt can sometimes cause you to question your own self worth “Do I even deserve this?”Success creates so many new challenges for youAnd the more successful you are as a leader, the bigger challenges lie ahead of youWe are always talking about fear of failureBut we NEVER talk about fear of successAnd these fears, these self-doubts can stop you from showing up powerfully as a leaderThey can stop you from taking bold action and playing full outLook....Fear of success can be a good sign - it means that you are thinking BIGBut allowing that fear to move you into a state of inaction and indecisiveness is not healthyAnd just a word of caution....Fear of success and fear of failure can seem to similar in natureBut they are NOTBoth come from different placesFear of failure assumes that you will fail in your endeavorsFear of success, on the other hand, assumes that you will succeed, but you are afraid of what will happen after that ?
And interestingly, both can prevent you from taking actionSo instead of fear of failure, I want you to go back and reflect :Are you actually afraid of success ?The answer may not be intuitive to you - you need to really think this throughThink about the biggest aspiration you have ahead of you - something big and boldThen, reflect on what might happen if you are able to achieve itYou can complete these sentencesMy biggest aspiration is___________________It scares me because_____________________I would be interested to know what came up for you as you read and reflected on this emailDo share your thoughts and feedback
Imagine that you are traveling for your dream vacationYou have been planning and saving for this vacation for sometime nowYou reach the airport very excited and go straight to the check-in counterThe airline staff tells you that you have excess baggage and you need to pay excess baggage chargesYou ask "How much ?
"The staff calculates and shows you a number.
A really high numberYou are shocked !
!You obviously have no intention to pay those charges and you start arguing with the staffThe issue escalates and the airline supervisor manager is calledYou are categorically told “Either you pay the charges or you leave some luggage behind”Now....If you pay the excess baggage charges, it will eat into your vacation budgetIf you do not want to pay the charges, then you have to ditch your excess baggageWhat will you do ?If carrying that baggage is important and serving a purpose, you will pay the charges, else you will ditch the excess weight, right ?This is what happens in life as well – personal as well as professionalWhether you are a successful business leader, a working professional or an entrepreneur – it does not really matterSometimes, we hold onto things way too longWe hold onto......People..Past experiences..Environments..Beliefs..Old habits..Ways of thinking..MindsetWe do not want to let go of themAnd in the bargain, we end up paying a huge pricePrice in terms of lost opportunities for personal and professional growthAnd it is not just you - people around you also pay the price, directly and indirectly
I was having a coaching call with a client recentlyShe is a senior leader within the tech industry and was being lined up for a promotion to a global role“I am very excited” she said “It is like a dream come true!”And then she paused....“But I am scared” she said hesitantly “It is a huge responsibility.
It is a big role”She continued, “What happens if I do not succeed?”The incumbent leader, whose position she was taking, had done an excellent jobAnd now, she was afraid whether she will be able to fill in those shoes or notShe was scared to step into her new power“If I am not able to do justice to this new role, it will impact my credibility, my reputation and all the hard work I have put in over past so many years” she saidYou see….When we see successful leaders, we only see the success, the aura, the fameBut the truth is..Success can sometimes be intimidatingSuccess can create all forms of fear and doubts..Fear of failure..Fear of what is on the other side, if you become successful..Fear of not meeting the expectations of people around youIt can sometimes cause you to question your own self worth “Do I even deserve this?”Success creates so many new challenges for youAnd the more successful you are as a leader, the bigger challenges lie ahead of youWe are always talking about fear of failureBut we NEVER talk about fear of successAnd these fears, these self-doubts can stop you from showing up powerfully as a leaderThey can stop you from taking bold action and playing full outLook....Fear of success can be a good sign - it means that you are thinking BIGBut allowing that fear to move you into a state of inaction and indecisiveness is not healthyAnd just a word of caution....Fear of success and fear of failure can seem to similar in natureBut they are NOTBoth come from different placesFear of failure assumes that you will fail in your endeavorsFear of success, on the other hand, assumes that you will succeed, but you are afraid of what will happen after that ?
And interestingly, both can prevent you from taking actionSo instead of fear of failure, I want you to go back and reflect :Are you actually afraid of success ?The answer may not be intuitive to you - you need to really think this throughThink about the biggest aspiration you have ahead of you - something big and boldThen, reflect on what might happen if you are able to achieve itYou can complete these sentencesMy biggest aspiration is___________________It scares me because_____________________I would be interested to know what came up for you as you read and reflected on this emailDo share your thoughts and feedback
Last week, I delivered a program on Delivering Effective Feedback for the leadership team of one of my clientsNow this is usually the time of annual performance appraisals in most organizations and as such, these programs are in demandHowever, what I do differently in these training sessions is that I actually start with a session on How to receive feedbackI feel that this is very important, as if you do not know how to receive feedback, you will not know how people feel and react, when you deliver feedback to your team membersSo today, I want to talk about how you can get better in receiving feedback 1.
Whenever you are receiving feedback, make sure to listen with the true intent of listening and not with the intent to respond or react Remember that giving feedback to you is one of the core responsibilities of your manager.
Many a times, team members tend to bring in other variables during a feedback discussionThey start pointing fingers on how others are behaving and what others are doing/not doingIf you do so, then you lose focus from the discussion at hand 4.
When you receive feedback, you have three choices :I call it the ARC Choice Frameworka) Accept itb) Reject itc) Contest itLets talk about acceptance firstYou can accept feedback on face value.
This is what most people do not understandYour stakeholders and people around you will continue to perceive you the same way, unless you do something aboutThird choice - ContestYou can contest feedback, but make sure you have very specific examples or evidence to back youRemember, if you contest feedback, it may not necessarily change the feedback, but it allows you a space to state your caseIn some cases, it is possible that the manager might change the opinion, but if it is officially documented, by and large, feedback will remain the sameBut don not contest for the sake of arguments.
It becomes a lost causeSo once you receive feedback, go back and reflect.