The word "sex" doesn't seem to be naturally associated with "older people".
When they appear side-by-side, some people ask: Do older people need sex too?
What kind of desires do older people have?
What kind of sexuality do they desire?
How do they address their needs in the face of physical decline?
In the misconception of most people, sex is the passion and desire of young people. The sexual needs of the elderly, on the other hand, disappear from our discussion.
Dilemmas and desires
One Article once conducted an online survey, "Do you think your parents still have a sex life?"
Of the nearly 1,000 responses, 85 percent of young people thought their parents no longer had a sex life.
"Both parents are not in good health anymore, so they shouldn't be able to."
"They slept in separate rooms a long time ago, so they shouldn't have that urge anymore."
The truth may be far from young people's imagination.
Professor Pan Suiming's "Leaving Historical Evidence for "Full Sex"" writes that 53% of Chinese seniors aged 55-61 have sex at least once a month, and 14% can have sex more than once a week.
At the same time, the sixth national census data shows that among the elderly population aged 60 and above in China, the number of widowed elderly reached 47,479,200, accounting for 26.89%. With the accelerated aging of the population, the number of widowed spouses continues to climb.
On the one hand, there is a widespread misunderstanding and neglect, and on the other hand, there is an objective and unresolved need. Older adults who are alone often try to reach out in their own way.
The talk show "Talking to Strangers" has talked about this controversial topic - "Sex and Love in Older Adults with Nowhere to Go."
The Calamus River Park in Beijing, also known as the "Senior Dating Corner", which appears repeatedly in the program, is a year-round gathering of older men and women who come for matchmaking. They not only seek emotional comfort, but also the pursuit of hot "sex".
The most romantic thing that the 64-year-old Master Hu did in the program was to take a bath with a mandarin duck, and to kiss in the street when the emotions got thick.
He said, "I have a hot heart and want to offer it at any time."
The need of the elderly for sex is objective.
British scholars have conducted a survey of 7079 older people over the age of 50. The vast majority of the elderly before the age of 80 are "sexually interested".
But compared to the young people's intimacy, people are more likely to feel embarrassed for the needs of the elderly.
In most people's subconscious, sex is still synonymous with reproduction, and people are too shy to talk about sexual pleasure, and even more shy to talk about sexual desire.
At the same time, the liberation of young people's sexual awareness is far from universal to the elderly group, and even in the Internet space, where the majority of young people live, news about sex among the elderly often comes with insulting labels such as "disrespectful" and "old pervert".
In this "embarrassment", people avoid talking about the sex of the elderly, and more often shape them into the stereotypes of the sympathetic grandchildren, introverted and gentle, their sex and love are blurred to invisible, and even themselves are de-gendered. The most primitive physical needs have been dissipated for no reason.
People's instinctive desires do not fade as their organism ages; they age, but they need love, companionship and sex as well.
Illness
Compared to the rest of society, older people possess few outlets for their needs.
They often have a strong sense of shame about their sexuality, which, combined with the lack of a suitable outlet, turns to commercial sex. This points to another dilemma regarding sexuality - AIDS.
WHO data shows that the percentage of older men in China who self-reported contracting HIV from commercial sex reached 60%.
In 2017, China's 13th Five-Year Plan of Action to Curb and Prevent AIDS mentioned for the first time that older adults are included in the priority HIV education population.
In 2019, 25% of all newly diagnosed and reported HIV infections in China are among older people aged 60 years and older. The increase in the number of reported cases of infection in men is particularly significant, with 28,700 newly diagnosed and reported HIV infections in men aged 60 years and older in 2019, a 500% increase from 2010.
The number of elderly HIV patients has been increasing year after year and has become a global public health problem.
And, the "Results of the Trend and Spatial Analysis of the AIDS Epidemic among the Elderly in China from 2005 to 2012" shows that the proportion of sexual transmission in the route of AIDS infection among the elderly has increased year by year during the seven years, and by 2012 nearly 90% of the AIDS among the elderly was transmitted by sexual intercourse.
Slightly different, according to Hangzhou CDC statistics, elderly men are mainly infected by sexual contact with the opposite sex outside of marriage, and some of them are infected by same-sex behavior. Older women, on the other hand, are more likely to have sex within marriage.
One of the reasons for this is that older people do not pay enough attention to condoms: a study done by a scholar in Chicago, USA, found that only 40% of single women over 60 years old used condoms during sex.
According to the Beijing Times, the Beijing Love Transfer Elderly Care Center had contacted a Mr. Li, who was in his 50s and had met many sexual partners while dancing in a square. Mr. Li did not use condoms because he felt he was too old to impregnate anyone long ago. He had had sex with more than 50 women before he was found to be infected with HIV.
In the mindset of many older people, condoms are contraceptive tools that do not need to be used when women are amenorrheic and do not have to worry about the risk of pregnancy; men may not be able to use condoms effectively because of erectile function problems. The most important tool for HIV prevention is then neglected in the sexual life of the elderly.
On the other hand, many older adults face a strong sense of shame about their sexuality, and when they cannot find an outlet, they choose commercial sex, which is extremely risky, to satisfy their sexual needs. So now the emergence of sex dolls is very good to help us solve this problem, now the sex dolls are very realistic sex toys, and they have sex with the feeling and the real person, so when you really want to solve the sexual needs can choose to buy a sex doll, you can choose according to their preferences can be mature sex dolls can also be young sex dolls, but for the elderly The old say then it is still recommended to choose a mini sex doll, because the small doll is not so heavy to use will not be so laborious. They are very good at helping many people who want to solve their sexual needs.
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