Weak men, we create ourselves

Father

A boy will never become a man if there is no man next to him. What can you teach your son? Well, honestly. Just how to be a woman. You can instill in him sensitivity, empathy, sensitivity... That's not bad, but does that make him a man? When he is already a man, he can also develop empathy - his wife will thank you later. But if there is nothing masculine in it, except for the body?

Where can he get an example of male behavior? An example that will show him that his feelings and desires are normal and natural. When boys fight, mothers are usually in a panic and horror. They will tell their sons for a long time that this is not normal. But dads will understand - and dads will be able to convey to their son - this is normal. The main thing is the reason. Does the reason deserve just such a solution to the issue, or can it be simpler and softer. Moms, it's okay for boys to fight. It's a man's way of solving problems. Fight an offender, invader, or obstacle. We cannot teach this to our sons.

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We cannot understand the soul of our sons, because we ourselves are arranged differently. They have different needs and other features. A mother can only raise a little page from her son, who carries her royal mantle. Because it is very convenient to enjoy this world through your son. We will not be able to talk to them about what is relevant to them. Everything that heals them is rejected by us, labeled “bad” and “uncivilized”. How will they become men in this case?

Let them have male hobbies, activities, male conversations. The more male, the better. Fishing, hiking, sports, construction, adventure, cars, technology, martial arts, martial arts, swords and pistols...

Give fathers access to sons. And give sons access to their fathers. Give them and other men - as many as you can. Grandfathers, uncles, brothers, teachers, friends, coaches. Let their male world be full of men. Let imperfect, but men. Able to understand and guide them. A woman can never raise a man out of her son. Only "domesticated man." From good intentions. Out of love. But who will be worse off?

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Liberty

A boy will never become a man unless he has enough freedom. If he does not have the opportunity to climb everywhere, touch everything. Sometimes at risk to life and health. This is masculine nature - a discoverer, researcher, hero of an adventure novel. If he needs to sit on the priest evenly, and a thirst for research is seething inside - what to do? Most often - to kill the traveler, discoverer, cowboy and all other "dangerous" subjects in yourself. Not to worry mom. To not upset her. And then the wife. What are skiing? The wife is against it. What parachutes? The wife won't take it.

Let his life be an adventure quest. With a lot of freedom inside. More active games, sports, risky ventures. By the way, you don't need to go there. Let them learn all this together with dad. Helpful for both.

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This, by the way, is also the answer to the question: “what if dad himself is a domesticated man? How will he teach his son something? As you and I are healed through our daughters, in the same way, fathers can be healed and grow up, open up through communication with their sons. But their communication should be free - from women in the first place. Free, full of adventures, impressions, new experiences. Joint, male experience. Not invented by you, but chosen by them (yes, sending father and son together to the “Christmas tree” does not count).

Solutions

A boy will not become a man if he does not learn to make decisions, make choices, and take responsibility for it. If you make all the choices for him, you always insure, always dictate the right decisions. Today he will do as you say, he will get a good result. But what happens when you're not around? What decision can he make on his own? Does he understand the consequences, is he familiar with the responsibility? And who in his world is responsible for himself? Are you again?

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Let him decide and choose. Let him experiment in decisions and learn to accept the consequences of this. Didn't do homework - got two. He did not wash his plate - there is nothing to eat from, everyone eats, and he washes the plate. He didn’t take his pants to the dirty laundry basket - he walks around in dirty ones. Or sitting at home. Etc.

Let him choose and what to do, how much, when and how. What book to read, what game to play, what to draw and how, with whom to be friends, what cartoon to watch, what household chores to perform. Etc. The more decisions he can make on his own, the better. Give him this practice - meetings with failures and victories, so that in adulthood he is not afraid of mistakes and defeats, having a lot of experience working with them.

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Leadership

A boy will not become a man if he does not have the opportunity to lead, dominate, compete. With whom will he work all this out if a woman brings him up? How can you compete with mom? In what? And how to dominate her, if she does not even give her husband this opportunity?

At the same time, in order for a woman to be happy next to a man, there must be a state of possessing this woman inside him. “You are mine” - this message from the male eyes is able to calm the female heart. And many women have been looking for and waiting for this all their lives. But how will a boy learn this from his mother? No way. He can only learn to obey and suppress the leader in himself.

Duties

A boy will never become a man if he has no responsibilities. If he's all set and doesn't have to do anything. If you spoon-feed him and do his homework for him. If he doesn't know how clean T-shirts get into the closet. If he does not know which side the refrigerator opens from.

Note that girls have duties early enough. Although they could be given time to rest - they will wash, cook and clean all their adult lives. But the boys would do well to be able to serve themselves in everything. And his wife will thank you later.