How to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship

One of the most important communication skills in any relationship is being a good listener. Without the ability to truly listen to and understand your partner, it can be difficult to build a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect, both necessary elements in a relationship. The first step towards becoming a better listener is simply to pay attention to what your partner is saying. This means setting aside all distractions and giving your partner your full attention. It can also be helpful to keep body language and tone of voice in mind, as you communicate with your partner. By taking the time to really listen, you can make a big difference in the quality of your communication.  The following are some tips to help you be a better listener.     

1. Don’t Always Formulate Responses 

Many people think that when people are sharing their experience, that they need you to solve the problem for them. But being a good listener does not always mean providing your partner with an immediate solution. Instead, the idea is to consciously listen to the conversation without trying to frame an answer in your mind. The goal is for your partner to feel understood.

Your partner may already know what’s right for them. So, instead of formulating an answer as soon as they start to speak, be patient and listen to what your partner is talking about. Only interrupt if you need your partner to slow down or if you would like to reflect back what your partner is saying.  This is called active listening and is a skill that can be learned in the best communication skills course on the market or learned with a counselor.         

2. Avoid Distractions 

Would you like it if your partner is constantly looking at their phone or watching TV while you’re discussing something important? No, right? Well, the same goes when you’re at the other end of the table.  If you want to become a good listener, it is crucial to prevent unnecessary distractions and direct your entire focus toward what your partner is saying.  Distractions can easily break down ongoing communication and cause partners to drift apart from each other. So, when your partner is talking about something important, be patient and stay away from all the distractions. 

3. Use Your Body Language Wisely

Believe it or not, your body language during a conversation has a huge impact on whether you’re going to be perceived as an attentive listener or not. Over 50% of language is nonverbal. Consistent nods, eye contact, and a consistent smile on your face will go a long way toward strengthening your communication and nurturing a strong foundation. 

Conclusion

Listening can easily strengthen your relationship with your partner. However, not everyone understands the dynamics of listening. Active listening is one type of listening that is a great skill that every couple should learn. You can learn active listening through a couple communication course. Dr. Sean Robertson - an online relationship coach - has devised a comprehensive couple’s communication course to help people fine tune their listening and communication skills and improve their relationships. Learning to listen with your full attention while using attentive body language will go a long way in strengthening your bond with your partner.