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Educating to kindness: how to do it?

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Optimistic Futures

Faced with the predominant values proposed by our society, where everyone thinks mainly of himself, it is not easy to educate in kindness. Personal fulfillment, success, financial gain push people to invest more in their own happiness, threatening to overshadow the kindness and care of others. Forgetting, often, that to be peaceful and happy with ourselves, we need the welfare of the other (and vice versa).

Kindness, therefore, seems a value that is sometimes out of fashion. It is often taken for granted. Sometimes, we only teach to say "thank you", "please" and "for pleasure" without, however, dwelling on the real meaning of these words. Without really transmitting that "thank you", "please" and "for pleasure" are yes kind words, but they must not be said so much to say. Not just just words that must be spoken out of education. There is more. "Thank you", "please" and "for pleasure" are kind words, which are good for ourselves and for others. It's nice to tell you and it's just as nice to hear them.

But educating in kindness is not just this.

EDUCATE TO KINDNESS: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

What does it mean to educate in kindness? Educating to kindness is a complex, continuous process that is built into everyday life. It is not just a matter of learning some kind words to say in certain situations. In fact, educating in kindness means growing kind, respectful children of oneself and of others.

Often, however, one wonders if it makes sense in a society like today to educate in kindness. Sometimes it is thought that being too kind is synonymous with weakness and fragility. In reality, kindness is one of the main characteristics of strong and wise people, of those who do not need violence to impose themselves and those who do not need to put their frustrations on the other. To be genuinely gentle you need to have good self-esteem and a good sense of self.

EDUCATING FOR KINDNESS: HOW TO DO IT?

How can children and teens be educated to kindness? How can you help them become children and, therefore, kind adults? Here are some practical suggestions.

EXAMPLE

No kindness is educated through instructions. It is not very practical to say "You have to do this". Instead, it is more useful to practice daily acts of kindness than children can take as an example. Many times, in fact, caught by the frenzy of everyday life, it happens to everyone to be unkind and to respond badly. However, trying to be kind adults offers children a model to take inspiration from. This obviously does not mean being perfect. It does not mean never to shout or to never lose patience. It means, instead, trying to be genuinely kind and if you realize that you have behaved incorrectly, both towards children and towards other adults, talking about it together.

Educating to kindness is a daily or training. The more children have the opportunity to live in respectful and cordial attitudes, the more they will be led to replicate them, because they are considered normal. It is important that the adult offers the example of gentle behavior both towards other adults, but also towards the children themselves. Being treated with kindness is the best way to experience how important it is to be kind to others.

VALUE THE KIND BEHAVIORS

It is not always easy to learn to be kind. This is why it is important to value respectful behaviors of children. At school, does a child share his snack with a companion who has forgotten it? Does a girl leave her seat on the bus to someone who is struggling to stand up? All kind behavior that should be normal. Of course, many times it is thought to be taken for granted that we should behave in this way and that it is not necessary to reinforce these behaviors in children and young people. This is true, but the children are growing and are experiencing their way of being, in relation to themselves and the world around them.

As when an incorrect behavior is adopted it is right to make the child understand that this thing is not good to do it, in the same way it is right to value the appropriate behaviors. A look of approval may suffice. Or sometimes, it is also important to explicitly compliment the behavior the child has chosen to adopt.

Many times we think that if we compliment the children, this makes the little ones behave like this just to get our approval. After all, being polite and doing such things should be everyday life and there is nothing to reward. We behaved as we should behave. This is partly true, but let's not forget that children are building themselves and helping them understand that certain gestures are truly noticeable is very important. This does not mean continually repeating "good". On the contrary, it may be more useful to value that behavior with a phrase like "You were really kind enough to share your snack".

SPEAK AND COMPARE

Educating to kindness also means comparing what it means to be kind and respectful. One can compare oneself to an event of daily life, to a news story or something that concerns us in the first person. Confronting each other about what could be done or what we would do in the same situation helps children to approach kindness.

EMOTIONAL EDUCATION

Being kind means being respectful of oneself and others. Speaking without attacking, confronting oneself without quarreling, discussing without raising one's hands. It means learning to recognize and manage one's emotions, preventing them from falling uncontrollably onto the other. If I'm angry, I have every right to be angry. At the same time, however, I cannot respond badly to all my classmates. Learning to recognize what I am experiencing and managing it in the best way is fundamental for the children themselves and for others.

When we talk about kindness education it is not possible not to talk about empathy. Learning to put yourself in the other person's shoes and recognizing how you can feel promotes kindness more than any imposition.

EDUCATING FOR KINDNESS: LOVE FOR HIMSELF AND THE OTHER

Many times it is thought that kindness is synonymous with weakness. Whoever is kind seems to submit to the other, who is under his thumb. In fact, the opposite is true. Those who are really kind, in an authentic way, have a good self- esteem and value as a person. At the same time, kindness promotes good self-esteem. Through studies with magnetic resonances, for example, it has been observed that when we perform a gentle behavior, areas of reward and pleasure are activated in the brain, which promote positive feelings.

Educating to kindness, therefore, is a gift for oneself and for the community. Educating children about kindness brings other kindness. It is a gift for itself, but it helps to think of itself in a bigger perspective. At the center of the world there is no longer the individual, but the entire humanity.

Source:HLTAID003 First Aid Certification

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